Friday, June 12, 2015

Fearless Friday | You've been looking at your fears all wrong.

It's been a while since our last discussion on Fearlessness, so I thought we'd talk about it today.  I'm starting to have a new outlook on the things  I'm "afraid of," that'll alter my actions in a major way. Fears, in essence, exist only in our minds.  We create them and we react to them.  But I believe we've been focusing on the wrong aspect of fear.  And if we rechannel that "fear energy" in a new way, we can become the type of people who "feel the fear and do it anyway."

Most of the time we fear something, our thoughts usually consist of the following:
1. We are afraid having to go through the initial experience.
2. We are afraid of a painful outcome (failing, embarrassment, etc).

But there's one HUGE aspect that we fail reflect on.  Not only is it huge, but it's critical to how you look at the situation. This can easily alter your view of your fear and turn it into a situation where you are POWER-FULL.
What we don't focus on is what will happen if we continue to avoid our fear.  I'm not referring to your fear of alligators- you should definitely continue to avoid them.  I'm talking about the fears that transform you to a different person if you were to overcome them.  I'm also referring to those things you've been putting off doing.  You may not look at them as something you are afraid of, but fear is the reason you remain in inaction.

When we think of our fears, the frightening images that flash through our minds are usually process and outcome related.  We think of the daunting process ahead of us and we start to avoid it.  Or we think of the worst case scenario outcome if we did it (and failed) and we put it off.  Rarely do we think about the negative outcomes of not moving forward.  You have a dream inside of you and don't think, "if I don't do this, it'll cause me more pain in the long run."

I'd like us to begin a new way of looking at the things we've been avoiding.  Write 'em all down and, one by one, determine what will happen if you do nothing.  What are the negative outcomes of continue avoidance.  Maybe you're 15 lbs over your ideal weight, but the idea of having to sweat and be uncomfortable at the gym turns you off.  So you keep putting it off.  But have you really thought about the consequences you are bringing into your life as a result?  You have the desire to switch careers and do something you love.  But you see the process ahead of you and realize it's easier to stay at your current job.  But have you counted the cost of having to work at a place you hate for next 10 years.  THAT SHOULD BE WHAT SCARES YOU!

If you really think about it, you are creating more of what you fear when you avoid through inaction.  You'll gain even more weight if you keep putting things off, you'll be even more shy if you keep avoiding social situations.  You'll spend more time in that dead end job if you are afraid to move out of your comfort zone.  Please, I beg you, go through this exercise of listing the things you've been putting off.  Then look at them from a completely different lense.  Be afraid of what your inaction is costing you then work your butt off to avoid that outcome.

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