Here's the Story of How I became Pretty and it Changed My Life

Glow Up
Traditionally, the last two weeks of the year has always held a special place in my heart.  I normally work year round then request that time off.  It was special because, during those two weeks, I'd conduct various experiments.

One year, I decided to live the life of a "polished woman."  Basically, this is a girl who takes great pride in her appearance and self-care routine.  Little did I know how life-transforming that experience would be.
Super Model Jas Tookes
I consider myself average in the looks department, but during my experiment, I managed to upgrade to "pretty girl" status. My facial features didn't change or anything like that, but I did present myself very differently than my usual self.

There are essentially two types of attractive people:
1. Someone who is born a natural beauty
2. Someone who places care and attention into highlighting their best features. 

I fell into the (2nd) category of the person who chooses to intentionally become pretty.  Like Helena Rubenstein once said, "there are no ugly women, just lazy ones."

From what I recall, my transformation process first began in the mind.  I understood that in order to become the polished woman, I must first think like one.  I definitely didn't think like one at the time so I had to take drastic measures to elevate my mindset.

What I did was save a series of pictures, on my iPad, of women who embodied the image of what I wanted to be.  I had countless pics in my collection.  Each morning, I would play a slideshow of the images to my favorite songs.  Every time I watched the slideshow, I tried to absorb these women into my psyche.  It served as a  morning visualization tool to get me in the right state of mind.

 Immediately afterward, I began the transformation process.  I studied those women very closely and paid careful attention to the little details. For instance, I noticed the type of earrings they wore, their nail polish color of choice, how flawless their skin appeared, etc.  It wasn't long before I picked up on commonalities between them and applied their techniques into my own routine.

Throughout the experiment, I set up some ground rules that I COULD NOT BREAK

1. Nails had to be painted and chip free at all times (no exceptions).
2. Makeup every day (even if it's natural, minimal makeup).
3. I had to improve my makeup technique & final result with each application.
4. Always apply the finishing touches (jewelry, fragrance, etc) even if I never left the house.
5. Ensure my environment was well maintained (clean car, home, organized bag. I wanted everything I looked at to be pretty).
6. Worked out regularly to maintain my physique.

This is just a short list but, in reality, I followed each one of the 10 UNBREAKABLE LAWS of Always Looking Polished.  Keep in mind that I wasn't working during this time.  I challenged myself to get fully ready even when I had nothing planned for the day.  Whether anyone saw me or not, I had to follow the rules.  It was my way of ensuring that I experienced NO ZERO DAYS.

To save time, I wore a top-knot as my signature hair style.  It framed my face well and allowed me the time I needed to focus on other details.

After diligently presenting the best version of myself to the world, I was rewarded greatly.  First off, I learned that the attractive version of me lives a totally different life than normal me.  The attractive me gets lots of attention. And I don't just mean attention from the gentlemen. It goes way beyond that.  When I took care of myself, it seemed like people were drawn to me.  Strangers struck up conversations and everyone went out of their way to be nice. It was really bizarre.  I guess that's the reason why "attract" is in the word attractive.  I felt like I was attracting all day long.

Another new phenomenon was that other attractive people seemed to take notice as well. Pretty girls would come up to me and ask where I got my bag or some other random question. I received compliments on the regular and more stares than I felt comfortable with.  It was weird, but I suddenly noticed other polished women staring (which never happened before). It was like I had been finally accepted into their exclusive, elite club.  I'm not bragging to say that I was breathtaking or anything like that.  I was walking around with a new type of energy and people really responded.

 Looking back, I realize that this type of investment can have a big payoff.  Firstly, if I wanted to make new friends, this would be an effective way to do it. Because people tend to open up more when I'm a "polished woman" it's easy to have conversations that can lead to friendships.  Fun fact, I met one of my best friends during that time of consistent self-care.  She's the epitome of a polished woman and takes great pride in herself.  The lifestyle she enjoys is a direct reflection of that.

Another huge benefit from this experience was that my confidence was through the roof. If you look good, you feel good. There's no doubt about it.  During my experiment, I remember feeling like I had no fear. That feeling of fearlessness is absolutely INVALUABLE.  Fearlessness is worth more than anything because you can leverage that feeling to take you to the promised land just outside of your comfort zone.  This can and will change your life.

( Please go back and reread the previous paragraph).

What I'm about to say may not sound politically correct but you might be experiencing a life that's below its fullest potential.  Present your best self to the world and the world will reciprocate.  When you set up high expectations for yourself, it's like the universe rises to meet those expectations.  I could be absolutely wrong about this but you'll never know unless you try this experience for yourself.


  1. This is something I have always thought of, but could never commit to. Going through this, did you ever ask yourself "why am I doing all this"? Sometimes I look at myself and think I want to be that polished woman and sometimes I think what the hell for. But I can see how your outcomes would overall changed the way you live. Thank you for sharing.

    1. Hi Laura,
      Great question. I had a couple reasons for doing this experiment.
      1. I did it to build discipline.
      2. I really wanted to improve on my make up application techniques and practicing every day really helped.
      3. I've seen examples of how "attractive people" enjoy additional benefits in our society and I wanted to see if this was a reality or just a perception.
      4. I wanted to feel amazing every day. It's really hard to look great and feel bad about yourself at the same time.

    2. Wonderful response. I admire how gracious and well-spoken (written? Lol) you are.

  2. I love this. Thank you. I have let myself fall off (wearing the same old clothes to work, getting lazy with my hair, forgetting to put on jewelry and perfume). I really need to up my make up game (as in learn how to properly apply it). Thanks for the reminder and encouragement.

    1. It's my pleasure Anon. We all slack from time to time. But we can always get back on track again.

  3. Thanks for this. I love it and will implement this in my life!

  4. First off I am not so sure that I agree with you being average looking! I think that you are very pretty so this challenge most likely took you from pretty to gorgeous! Lastly this could not be timelier. Everything that you stated is so true. It is not just something you are feeling but a real truth for living a fabulous life. I am working on weight loss and makeup application because I am terrible at makeup. Basically mascara, gloss and out the door! To keep me motivated I plan on reading this very post every morning along with photos of women that are polished and my vision board for creating the life that I want. Thank you for dropping such knowledge! You truly hit the nail right on the head with this one!!

    1. Aww, thanks Anon.
      Yes, I do believe that presenting your best self to the world can have a huge impact on the quality of your life. I have multiple posts on this topic. Be sure to check out these others posts:
      1. 5 Reasons to Wear Makeup More Than You do Now (
      2. Why do Attractive People Dress Well (
      3. 5 Reasons to get Glam Everyday (
      4. How to Look Amazing Everyday without fail (

      Have fun!

  5. Hi Hum,
    The other experiment I've tried was living out my ideal life. Basically, during my time off, I lived each day as I would if I had achieved my dream of quitting my job and working for myself. I may write a post on it in the future.

  6. Great post! I just started a new job and feel like I've just let myself go. My main source of angst is my hair. I've been natural for about 5-6 years. With this new job I've worn it slicked down (as slicked down as 4a hair allows!) in a ponytail EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. Time for me to work on myself! Thanks for the reminder!

  7. Great post & NICE blog! Just started following on FB. 💕💕💕

  8. This is awesome!!!!!! I am currently in my 1st trimester of pregnancy feeling like death... I am starting to feel better now. I am definitely going to try this out for myself!

    1. That makes 2 of us. Just hit 14 weeks and starting to feel like myself again. This is a great reminder.

  9. Love this blog! Your story reminds of the day this very beautiful blk woman staring at me. I'm thinking like wtf,as I continued
    Doing me. A light went off I'm like that's jas tookes. Beauty always appreciate beauty

  10. I absolutely love your writing. FINALLY someone I can identify with that's giving me the motivation I need. I will be trying to implement this into my own life. I want to build a better mindset!

  11. The truth is, being a polished woman comes naturally for many of those polished women. If it isn't TRULY WHO YOU ARE...... what's the point? Have you perhaps tried being the MAINTENANCE WOMAN instead? There are two types of women in the self care aspect..... 1. Polished woman e.g. Kim Kardashian & family, Jennifer Lopez 2. Maintenance woman e.g. Karla Deras of

    Both depend on the woman's general personality. The polished woman loves a high maintenance life, she likely has the money to splurge, and the time, She just NATURALLY and GENUINELY loves it. She loves to try different things, the more, the better. She doesn't even have to think about it to do it, nor do experiments to incite the discipline to. Then there is the maintenance woman, She looks good, really good, but in a natural/simple way as though she was JUST born like that - but what it is, is that she's found her signature look and never strays. Her skin/hair/body is just as great.

    I like this blog, but I felt this post came across a bit pathetic (not in an insulting way, in a 'this is kinda sad' way) because it sounds as though you are trying to be who you aren't.


    1. Melissa, you make some great points (namely, the fact that there are different kinds of "signature styles" and you need to find what works for you and your lifestyle)--however, I disagree that being polished is something that just comes "naturally" to the women who work toward that style.

      I believe that the difference between a woman with any kind of signature look (whether polished, maintenance, or other) and one who doesn't is her habits. Some women grew up with parents who encouraged them to value their looks and thus, it was easy for them to discover these things early on. This is why it seems to come "naturally" to them.

      Others, for whatever reason, were discouraged from placing any kind of emphasis on their looks, and therefore, they have no kind of style even if they would rather have *something*.

      I think if you look at much of the research that's out there, you find that habit formation becomes a lot more difficult when you are an adult. Thus, yes, it does require discipline to try something new--raw desire and "willpower" are not enough. Furthermore, simply because someone needs to work hard at something does not mean they do not want it. Ask any medical or law student, or anyone who wants to lose a ton of weight.

      Anyway, I enjoy reading this blog because I, too, am in the habit formation/early phase of a few things (e.g. becoming a physically active person, developing my signature style) and there's a lot of food for thought on here for those who are interested in living the life they want.

  12. Im challenging myself to this now! and really, its totally worth it. men and women notice

  13. What an awesome article. Love your writing and philosophising!

  14. I suppose its all semantics. When you say polished the image that pops into my head is old Hollywood glamour which is a lot. I personally find the elusive - "girl next door" look to be attractive and most importantly, approachable. After a quick look at your Instagram, I can say that you have successfully pulled this off :-).


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